18 April 2006

I've Got A New Assignment For Jack Bauer

And this one won't take 24 hours, unless you count the flight time.

On the day that the CIA poison cigar finally kills Uncle Fidel, Jack need to grab a fight to Jose Marti Airport and wait for further instructions.
Upon arriving at said airport (avoid the '58 Chevy's running all around the tourist only entry gate) go down the street until you find that one 70 year old mole that the Mob/CIA left in Havana and ask him to point you in the general direction of a Cuban Army weapons storage facility.
Grab as many Soviet era rocket launchers (the Bruce Cockburn model is just fine) as you can carry and park yourself at the Eastern end of the main runway.
Wait until you see Venezuela One make it's final approach, and help Hugo Chavez make his final approach to the ground.
Now this would help in many ways. First it would keep the Asian oil interests that keep getting in your way out of our hair because Venezuelan oil is closer and with the Marxist pineapple face out of the way CITCO stations would actually be places Americans would enjoy stopping at.
Next it is in another city that is mostly Spanish and yet the sun might actually shine on your white boy face.
Third if Audrey isn't already dead or in prison, this will assure the rest of us that she will not be around this time.

Your country will thank you with another new identity and a chance to grab some more trailer tail down the road.

P.S. Stop asking Cloe for help with your PDA. You're a big boy, read the damn instructions.

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